Rebuilding The Foundation With Your Ex


Sometimes, breakups are for the best –– even though they can take a huge toll on one’s emotional and physical well-being. It is definitely not easy to heal the wounds from a breakup, but it’s not impossible. However, if both parties are starting to regret splitting from each other, you might want to start thinking about rebuilding the foundation with your ex. 

Saving the relationship after a breakup is no easy feat, especially if both parties are dealing with issues such as silent treatment and emotional withholding. Fortunately, with effort and lots of patience, many relationships can be changed for the better. These wounds must be fully healed before you guys get back together –– and perhaps, the relationship may end up being stronger than ever before. Read on more to find out. 

Can This Even Work In The First Place?

So you’ve decided that you want to get back with your ex after a breakup and you’re wondering whether reconciliation is even possible. Naturally, things are going to be difficult, especially if you were dealing with problems within a toxic relationship –– such as codependency and people-pleasing tendencies. However, many relationships can still be saved if both parties agree to work on things together. For example, issues such as poor communication and lack of intimacy can be resolved healthily with the right approach and patience. 

When’s A Right Time To Get Back Together?

In most situations, getting over relationship challenges can be a long and arduous process. Although there is no one-size-fits-all solution, you should generally stop rushing if things aren’t properly solved. It’s hard to tell yourself no, especially if you’ve been missing your ex, but waiting for things to heal is better than risking them opening up again. To ensure that your relationship doesn’t end up in heartbreak again, make sure that both parties are aware of what issues to work on, and that you guys are both on the same page about it.

How To Re-establish Relationships

Now, the thing that you’ve been waiting for –– second time’s the charm!

Mutual Cooperation

To make the relationship work after a breakup, both parties must be agreeable on what you want. Both of you should be equally willing to put in the time and effort to rebuild the relationship and work towards a common goal. Otherwise, arguments and old problems might surface again, which is something that you want to avoid. 

Communication is Key

A cliche saying, but it proves to be true in every scenario. The key to a successful relationship is open and honest communication between two parties. You might think that you and your partner communicated enough in your previous relationship, but all communication isn’t necessarily good communication. This requires effort from both sides to be transparent and honest about your feelings –– even if it risks being vulnerable with yourself. This can pose a challenge if one or both of you aren’t comfortable with using your voice when you’re upset or angry. 

Engaging in active listening is also a part of good communication. When your partner talks to you, listen attentively and be present in the moment. Opening up and being raw about your feelings might seem challenging but with time, you’ll find it easier to do so. 

Don’t Rush Into Things

There’s no need for you to jump right back into the relationship. Establishing a stronger foundation now and resolving the existing problems is vital for your relationship to last in the long run. A broken relationship doesn’t heal overnight, so be patient and take things slow.

Try Something New

To put it bluntly, you and your partner broke up for a reason –– and there’s nothing wrong with that. While the both of you are figuring things out again, why don’t you try something new to add an interesting take to the relationship? It doesn’t have to be a drastic change. You could bring your partner to do something both of you have never tried before. What about camping? Or going for a painting session? It could show a new side of both of you and you might just learn something new about each other.

Rebuilding Trust

Once both of you are working together to practice open communication, it’s time to figure out the factors that caused the breakup. Be objective about it and try not to get too caught up with your emotions. The purpose of this is to understand and resolve any underlying issues in your relationship, so blaming each other will likely end up in an argument. 

This looks easier than it seems, especially if trust issues (i.e. infidelity) are the main reason for breaking up. Still, healing is possible if both parties are ready to change for the better. The reason for cheating needs to be brought to light and understood by both parties.

Learn How To Trust Yourself

Before you trust your partner, you have to learn how to trust yourself. If your partner has cheated previously, you need to put faith in your instincts. Of course, blaming it on infidelity isn’t helpful every time a fight occurs, but you should learn to listen to your gut sometimes (more than your heart). 

Keeping Positive

Emotional betrayals are painful and difficult to get through, but it doesn’t mean that everything else needs to be equally sad. Try to focus on the positive parts of the relationship instead of dwelling on issues all the time. 

Don’t Dwell On The Past

If you have decided to forgive your partner, pay attention to the present instead of replaying the instances of betrayal over and over again. This would only end up diminishing the chances of healing, so focus on working together for the future. 

Healing From Betrayal

There’s no cheat code for this as people deal with emotional betrayals in different forms. Either way, it’ll still require a lot of patience and determination from both parties to overcome. You may be healed in a couple of months, or take significantly longer to finally let your guard down again. One of the hardest things to forgive is infidelity, as cheating is considered by many to be the dealbreaker of a relationship. However, we still believe that healing is doable –– challenging, but not impossible. 

First, you need to practice self-awareness and manage your feelings, so that anger outbursts are kept in check. Second, you have to sincerely forgive your partner and refrain from bringing up the incident any time you guys argue. Third, don’t blame yourself –– i’s not your fault, and you are not accountable for your partner’s actions. Fourth, practice self-love. Prioritize you, and put your needs first. And lastly, be objective. Don’t be blinded by past feelings and put yourself through another relationship, especially if you’re not ready.

Seeking Help

Relationship experts are trained professionals to help people navigate their problems. If you and your partner are both willing to invest time and effort into rebuilding your relationship, consider going for a couples workshop.

Consulting a professional provides you with a safe space to be vulnerable and honest with yourself. The relationship expert is well-equipped to help to guide you through feasible and healthy steps that you can take to improve the healing process. 


Relationships are undoubtedly challenging, especially rebuilding one that was once broken. However, healthy relationships are extremely rewarding and can bring about many upsides to your life. If you are in such a situation, know that with enough time and effort, it’ll be worth it in the long run. 

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