A study reports that 54% of men and 42% of women in long-term relationships are unhappy with their sex lives. These numerical figures may come as surprising since movie or porn-obsessed mindset paints an unrealistic image.
And we fall into the trap of believing people around us have great sex lives. But, having a dissatisfied sex life is pretty much common, all thanks to the inability to last longer in bed.
The curiosity and ideals we have surrounding sex fail to bring us satisfaction or sexual stamina. We must assess causes and take approaches that bring good health and, eventually, good sex.
Let’s dive deeper here to know how to last longer in bed and eventually make great strides in our sexual health.
How to Last Longer In Bed: What is the Normal or Sufficient Duration of Sexual Activity?
Before exploring how to amp up the duration of your sexual activities, knowing what accounts for the normal duration is essential. Research says vaginal intercourse takes 3 to 7 minutes.
However, vaginal sex ranging from 1 to 2 minutes is considered short, while 10 to 30 minutes is deemed pretty long. Sex therapists say the desired time range for penile-vaginal intercourse is 7 to 13 minutes.
But, what accounts as a desirable range for vaginal sex should not be considered standard for other penetrative sex types. Like, anal sex can take longer since 10 to 15 minutes of foreplay is necessary before inserting the penis into the anus.
However, we should take into consideration the dynamics of same-sex couples. Like, according to a study, same-sex female couples experience longer sex sessions compared to heterosexual or same-sex male couples.
Most importantly, everyone has a different take on what gives a satisfying sex life. Some couples moreover include various sexual activities, like oral sex during or before intercourse. And that sets a different time range.
Notably, preferences vary even among partners. Apart from therapist-given desirable ranges, what you and your partner consider preferable should be prioritized without hampering sexual health.
Reasons You are Not Lasting Longer in Bed
Premature Ejaculation and Erectile Dysfunction
Premature ejaculation, a common ejaculation issue and also a sexual dysfunction, makes you ejaculate too quickly. And it can make you reach orgasm before your partner. Yes, it’s not mandatory or always possible to have an orgasm simultaneously.
But, reaching your climax long before your partner every time kills all the joy of attaining sexual pleasure. Though occasional incidences of premature ejaculation are normal, severe or frequent cases imply the presence of underlying health issues.
Premature ejaculation stems from serious troubles like prostate or thyroid problems. Even mental health issues like stress, depression, or anxiety can lead to premature ejaculation.
If you experience premature ejaculation, you need to look into the cause you are having.
Another common issue, erectile dysfunction affecting nearly 30 million men, should be treated if it happens frequently. Affected individuals experience trouble gaining or keeping an erection, either not lasting longer or stronger enough to continue sex.
Apart from older men, approximately half of men in their 30s experience erectile trouble.
Lack of Foreplay during Sex Sessions
No foreplay can imply a lack of enthusiastic approach. Moreover, not including foreplay certainly cuts down the duration of your sex.
But, introducing foreplay can delay ejaculation. And, thus it can help you to continue sex longer.
Poor Stress Management
Stress harms your overall health, including your sexual function. Becoming stressed can cause you to prematurely ejaculate or, even worst, take away your interest during any sexual encounter.
Moreover, high stress may lead to delayed ejaculation or no ejaculation at all. Stress can cause insensitivity towards clitoral stimulation or any sexual techniques in females.
Notably, getting overwhelmed with stress triggers may distract your focus from giving or receiving sexual pleasure. And thus, it prevents you from lasting longer in bed.
Body Image Issues
Not feeling confident regarding your body image can be a powerful inhibiting factor for satisfying sex. And thus, it prevents your ability to continue sexual encounters for longer.
Moreover, negative body images persist in every gender. And this self-projected negativity even prevents you from becoming sexually active.
But, sex therapists and psychologists emphasize perfect figure is never an important factor for great sex or sexual stamina.
Having Different Views on Sexual Health and Sexual Performance
You and your partner can desire or prioritize different things during sex. And that may cause a clash in relationships and a lack of satisfaction from sex.
Even if you have great sexual energy, having different views on sexuality can put an abrupt end to sexual activities.
Abusive/Negative Sexual Experience
Rape, or getting manipulated into sex, creates mental trauma that stays for ages. And the impact it leaves on mental health takes away the ability to continue sex for longer periods.
Even sexual assault is common in men. And thus, they associate shame, fear, and hatred with sexual encounters. Attaching these emotions with sex prevents you from feeling affection, lust, or at least usual enthusiasm during sexual activity. And hence you fail to enjoy or even come to terms with having sex for longer hours with your partner.
Taking a Robotic Approach toward Sexual Intercourse
Needless to say, treating sex like a necessary yet mundane activity reduces the possibility of experimenting with sex positions. And with time, having the same sexual techniques and practicing similar positions makes you lose interest.
Also, you cannot always attain orgasm or even sexual arousal by treating sex like a chore. That highlights the need to include oral sex, sex toys, and genital touching. You may also incorporate variations in the way you desire.
12 Ways To Last Longer In Bed
1. Healthy Diet
Food solves everything, from increasing your concentration for study to extending your time in the bedroom. Fruits like apples ensure your cells stay active up to maximum levels. And thus, you can continue with sex or delay ejaculation without experiencing fatigue.
Impressively, easily available fruits like watermelon and banana can help if you are experiencing premature ejaculation. Healthy fats from avocado and salmon aid in bettering your heart health which eventually improves your sexual experiences.
Also, improving your diet helps in preventing premature ejaculation and other sexual problems that occur with aging.
Simple exercises like deep breathing help to improve your stamina. And it helps to focus on your experience and also your partner’s pleasure.
Notably, exercises focusing on pelvic floor muscles drastically make your sex life better. Because pelvic floor muscles play a huge role in sexual arousal and getting an orgasm.
Opt for kegel exercises to strengthen your pelvic floor and improve its health. Moreover, these exercises help to treat premature ejaculation and erectile problems.
Importantly, pelvic floor muscle rehabilitation strikingly helps cases of premature ejaculation. This technique includes exercises that improve the tone and health of pelvic muscles.
So, you can opt for pelvic floor muscle rehabilitation to improve your sexual experiences.
Sleep deprivation or poor-quality sleep encourages the possibility of hormonal issues, erectile problems, and premature ejaculation. Also, not getting enough sleep reduces your sexual desires and energy.
Notably, sleep and sex have strong connections. Improving the former positively impacts the quality of the latter and vice versa. People who get regular sleep for sufficient hours have better sex, and people having better sex have better sleep.
Make time for enough, better quality sleep. Try journaling or eliminating sources of your stress to improve sleep quality.
4. Stress Management
High stress clouds your ability to focus on every aspect of your life. And that greatly hampers your sexual experiences.
Reducing stress or making your life stress-free helps you to improve sex. And further better handling of stress contributes to continuing sex for a longer duration.
Talk to a psychologist for better sex life and, most importantly, for good mental health.
5. Practicing Mindfulness
Mindfulness, in simple terms, means staying in the present. And also need to prioritize your present moments without getting too overwhelmed or stressed. Emphasizing your present lets you become focused and aware, generating a greater sense of calmness.
Thus, being mindful helps you to stay focused and stress-free during any moment, including sexual ones. However, practicing mindfulness or becoming aware of your surroundings on a deeper level takes work and sometimes conscious practice.
Take it easy and train your mind with time.
6. Switching up Sex Positions
Intercourse is not just some “penis in vagina” movement. Spice up your experiences by trying new positions.
Further, new positions increase the ability to experiment and explore the potential to reach climax in different ways. Notably, opting to try different positions naturally induces interest and creates a willingness to continue sex longer.
To make your experience more pleasurable, you can use any sex toy while trying new positions.
7. Squeeze Method
This method can help people experiencing premature ejaculation. The squeeze method involves stopping your activity when you feel ready to orgasm.
Then, apply pressure at the end of the penis to prevent you from reaching your climax. It is important to note that you must continue the pressure until the sensation passes. Then continue your sexual activity, and you can repeat the method as desired.
The powerful combo of herbs, minerals, and plant extracts in Aizen Power helps you to have a healthy and strong erection. Notably, the product is developed to benefit people who can only sustain erections for a shorter duration.
Moreover, the formulation stimulates healthy blood circulation that improves sexual stamina and the ability to get an orgasm. Also, the product helps to overcome mental blockages that make you have compromised sex lives.
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Its ingredients, like Chinese ginseng, help to improve mental health and immunity. Bettering immunity and mental health definitely contribute to having higher sexual stamina and thus help to last longer in bed.
Notably, other ingredients like hawthorn fruit improve blood flow and help to get a healthy erection. Moreover, it aids in treating hormonal issues and inflammation. And thus, the product helps to improve erectile function and hence treats erectile. dysfunction.
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The eight ingredients, including fenugreek seed and Tongkat Ali, increase physical energy. And therefore, they boost your ability for sex for a longer duration.
Moreover, the added vitamins help you to stay healthy and attain healthy blood circulation. Importantly, the constituent L-citrulline gifts you both high sexual stamina and better mental health.
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The formulation contains age-old trusted ingredients believed to improve sexual performance. Notably, the constituent morinda root helps to fight premature ejaculation. And thus, it helps you to last longer in bed.
Other components like goji berry positively impact blood circulation. It aids in prolonging erection and hence helps to enjoy sex longer.
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Interestingly and importantly, the supplement contains damiana, known for increasing sexual energy. Another component, bacopa, positively impacts brain functions. Doing so aids in better stress management and thus helps you to improve your sexual experience.
Also, the ingredients help to improve blood circulation and treat early ejaculation. And hence it allows you to sustain an erection for a longer time.
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The formulation is completely natural. And thus, it prevents you from getting exposed to the ill effects of artificial constituents.
Impressively, the carefully prepared formulation of Red Boost lacks too many components. Yet, the effective selection and ratio of ingredients improve circulation, mental health, and prostate actions, all of which highly impact sexual activity. The presence of fenugreek and nettle root blesses you with the capacity for better sex.
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This supplement contains a balanced composition of vitamins, enzymes, amino acids, and botanical extracts. This diverse formulation gives a comprehensive approach to improving your sexual experiences.
Importantly pine bark extract, one of its components, boosts healthy blood flow in the penis. And other components like L-citrulline makes your heart healthy, which makes your sex experiences intensely good.
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9. Sexual Medicine
You can take FDA-approved medicines like tadalafil, sildenafil, vardenafil, and avanafil to treat premature ejaculation. These also help to treat erectile dysfunction and aid in sustaining a strong erection for a longer time.
Furthermore, you can opt for herbal or ayurvedic remedies to increase your sexual stamina.
But, using sexual medicine can cause side effects or interactions with other medicines you are taking. So consult with your doctor before buying any medicines.
10. Couple Counseling/Consulting with a Sex Therapist
This really comes in handy if you or your partner have mental trauma surrounding the past sexual encounter. Also, talk to a sex therapist if you and your partner have different views on sexuality, impacting every relationship aspect.
Further, you can take consultation even without any serious causes. Like, you can consult if you want to improve your experiences.
11. Get a Proper Sex Education
Your notions may prevent you from experimenting with positions and techniques. Also, you may harbor wrong ideas about how to reach or delay ejaculation.
Addressing your preconceived ideas helps improve every aspect of your relationship, including sex. Further, having good sexual knowledge removes your monotonous approach toward sexual experiences. And you can use sex toys properly or delay orgasm intentionally.
Also, sex therapists are just a call away for you.
12. Eliminating Toxicity from Your Relationship
Building resentment for a long time takes away affection and also the willingness to engage in sex. That, of course, makes sex with your partner seem like a chore.
Also, harboring anger for a longer time makes you intentionally less attentive and perceptive to your partner’s needs, including sexual ones. So, make sure not to use silence as the solution and address the causes of hostility and resentment.
The issue of not being able to have sex as long as you want is common. Thanks to many causes like premature ejaculation and high stress.
But there are many natural ways, like exercise and diet, to treat premature ejaculation and other sexual problems. Also, including variations in your sexual activities can help in lasting longer in bed.
Among the supplements, we would like to recommend Aizen Power. The formulation helps address both non-physical and physical issues that make your sex life dull.
In the ending note, we would like to emphasize how people treat sex as subjective. And also, the preferred duration for sex varies among people. The real deal lies in keeping your options open and prioritizing your doctor’s opinions and, of course, your partner.
How to Last Longer In Bed FAQs
When Can Premature Ejaculation be Considered Normal and When it isn’t?
People commonly complain about premature ejaculation. If it happens occasionally or gets treated by exercise or improving diet, it can be considered normal and not serious.
But, premature ejaculation happening frequently or not getting cured by non-medical ways reflects serious health issues. That can imply the presence of underlying health concerns like infection in the prostate or urethra or hormonal problems. And in these serious cases, you need to contact your doctor.
Can Erectile Dysfunction Hamper your Sex Life?
Occasional cases never hamper your experience. But you need to contact your healthcare provider if it’s frequently happening.
Also, foreplay or other non-medicated ways can fail to tackle erectile problems and thus can never resolve your sexual issues. In such cases, your erectile issue can have underlying issues like sleep disorders or poor heart health.
Is it Necessary to Reach Orgasm during Penetrative Sex?
Having an orgasm, that too, at the same time with your partner, definitely sweetens the deal. But, it is not the ultimate necessity.
Having a mutual understanding really helps. And it also helps to enjoy sexual activities for a longer duration.
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Author: Vanessa Richards
Vanessa is a mom of 3 lovely children and a software geek. Outside of her career as a health and wellness instructor. She enjoys writing and researching on topics such as finance, software, health and culinary.
https://www.dumblittleman.com/how-to-last-longer-in-bed/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=how-to-last-longer-in-bed 12 Ways On How to Last Longer In Bed: Complete Guide 2022